Pet Loss Library

When my husband, Eddie, was in the terminal phase of his cancer, I saw something happen with our loved ones that can only be described as beautiful. Eddie was loved by so many people because he was so freely able to love others. In an e-mail to me, Cathy, Eddie's sister, describes her brother as I believe many others would.... He showed only love and goodness towards everyone he met. If he didn't have something good to say about someone, he just wouldn't say anything. I think he got love from people because that's what he deserved. He deserved it because that's what he gave. Eddie's spirit lives on so strongly because he had such a loving spirit here on earth. I know every time I needed a strong shoulder to lean on, he was there for me. And so were you. It was like you two were a team. If you got one, you got the other. That's the way it should be, but so seldom is the case. Though Eddie was not perfect, he was such a good example of how a human being should be, and his faults seem minute. He may have failed in a few places, but he really excelled in the important, long-lasting issues, and that's how I think of my big brother. Yes, he really could walk on water as far as I'm concerned. To share some of the background of the situation, Eddie's physical death was simply horrible. As a result of cancer of the tongue, he had to have his entire tongue removed. He was unable to speak, swallow, eat, or take anything by mouth. At a time he so needed to be able to give his grief a voice, it was impossible for him to do so. He said three words that were audible after his surgery, and I'm sure it took everything he had inside of him to make those words heard. He said, I love you to me, and he did love me with every fiber of his being, just as I loved him. When the doctors at Vanderbilt told us there was nothing else they could do to save Eddie's life, he wasn't cognizant of what they were telling him because he was so heavily medicated at that point. The following day, I had to explain to him that he was dying, and it was, without question, the hardest thing I've ever done, or probably will ever do, in my life. He had fought such a courageous battle against the disease that ultimately claimed his life, and I didn't honestly know what his reaction would be, but I quickly found out that his only concern was for me and his other loved ones. He said he didn't want to leave me, but he said he wanted me to be loved, to be happy, and to not be afraid.